By Arleen Triolo
This is the story of how I battled with, and finally, overcame Night Eating Syndrome.
Hi, I’m Arleen. I’m a former lawyer, turned Certified Functional Medicine Health Coach, and I specialize in helping people overcome Night Eating Syndrome.
My late teens ushered in a decade-long struggle with eating disorders. Precipitated by the stress of university and comments from my family that compared me to my slimmer sister (who at the time was also suffering from an eating disorder) my entry into eating disorder and struggles with body dysmorphia started at the age of 18 with bulimia.
At 18, I moved away from home and lived in halls of residence at university. It was the first time I had to think about my own food, which opened up unexplored ‘freedoms’ that have way to an unhealthy relationship with food. Prior to this time, I used food to dampen my hunger and occasionally for pleasure. On the whole, food occupied little space in my mind.
But the stresses and strains of University, took their toll on my mental health. New relationships were strained and more strenuous to forge than I had imagined. My studies were more difficult and tiring than I suspected. I often felt alone, isolated, misunderstood and unloved, desperate to fit in but unable to make the connections I needed to. Sad, lonely and frustrated, I turned to food to give me a sense of pleasure and relief. It worked in the moment but always left me feeling guilty and ashamed, as did my increasing weight… It was under those circumstances that I started to binge and purge.
Purging did not come easy for me and so going forward I needed another solution to get a handle on my weight. I decided to try fasting. This was way before intermittent fasting was popular. Initially I found it hard and painful but I continued with it over the summer holidays and lost a lot of weight during that period. My body was now getting slimmer and slimmer and I really enjoyed my appearance, for the first time in a long time, and the compliments I got from others bolstered that enjoyment.
But the fasting didn’t stop there! What began has a healthy habit, turned into an all-consuming obsessive disorder, where sugar (and many other foods) became my enemy and where eating only 800 calories a day became my ultimate purpose. Anorexia nervosa ravaged my body and mind for the next year before it began to fight back. I was so starving and deprived that food was almost constantly on my mind, and yet I never allowed myself to have it. My diet consisted mainly of raw vegetables, a few non sweet fruit and some yoghurt coated raisins. Bananas were too carb, avocadoes too fat and I wouldn’t even dream of touching bread!
By now I had lost 30lb off an already slim frame but then something happened…my body began to fight back… and the (to me, deeply hurtful) messages I kept getting from my friends and family to eat more food finally began to ring true. But I didn’t simply eat more, no. I BINGED on enormous quantities of food IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Anorexia nervosa gave way to Night Eating Syndrome.
Night Eating Syndrome (accompanied by occasional day time binge eating behaviour) was for me by far the most consuming and difficult eating disorder to overcome, not least because I suffered with it for the longest time. For almost 10 years, I would get up every single night in the middle of the night (at exactly the same time) and eat large volumes of highly palatable food. Initially, I would eat 2000-3000 calories of peanut butter covered chocolate, granola bars and leftovers while standing in front of the fridge in a barely lit kitchen. Frequently, I would steal my flatmate’s food and would have to attempt to replace it before they noticed the next morning. In the latter half of those 10 years, I consumed less calories but woke up every single night to eat. In that time, the scale went up and up and I felt like I had no control over it at all. I exercised almost daily to try and burn off those calories but I never saw any results as the night eating never stopped. I felt disheartened, depressed, moody in my relationships, exhausted and unhappy. It’s quite unbelievable that I carried those feelings every day for so many years… Letting go and living a normal life was a daily battle, but one that I did not stop fighting through prayer and faith.
But healing didn’t come for many years. And my desperation grew. I tried 3 different therapists, sleep specialists and doctors over that period. But none were able to help me find a way out. Chronic insomnia now set in too, which only made matters worse. As a result I decided to quit my job as a lawyer and focus on recovery. After 2 years, I finally found and developed the tools that I needed to overcome Night Eating Syndrome and eventually insomnia. Since then, my life has transformed into a much more positive and happier one. I am no longer crippled by anxiety and depression. I have a positive body image and I can eat all kinds of foods without restriction or guilt. I am healed but the most exciting part of this journey for me has been not just that I am healed, but that I have helped so many other people heal from night eating syndrome too through my Instagram page @night.eating.syndrome.coach . Being able to help people overcome years, often decades, of struggle with this nasty syndrome has brought redemption to the years of pain and suffering that I felt because of Night Eating Syndrome. Hearing things like: “Thanks to you I can finally sleep through the night, without waking up to night eat, for the first time in ten years”, never ceases to put a smile on my face and fill my heart with joy!
So, as I close, I want to leave you with this final thought. My journey with eating disorders was long, and drawn out. I honestly never thought that recovery was possible for me. I thought, and was told by my therapists, that I would likely have to live with this forever. I was depressed, anxious and even bitter at time because of my eating disorders, and that makes me no different from most people who suffer from eating disorders… Perhaps no different from you, reading this right now. But, let me tell you, there is hope for you too. I am not special or different. I am just like you and I managed to overcome night eating (and all the other eating disorders I had) and so can you.
My decade-long struggle now propels me to help others in the same spot. I get emails almost daily asking for help, and I am so happy that I have managed to help so many people overcome their battle with NES already, after years of being victim to it!
I want to give you hope…
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And let’s all find freedom from NES!