Recovery from Night Eating Syndrome (‘NES’) is not usually straight forward. Sigh…
Most Night Eating Syndrome Warriors (‘NES Warriors’), including myself, at some point believed that NES will just go away one night. Like me and many of my clients, you might be thinking that you just need to catch the wave of willpower and this nightmare will be over. You may think that you just need to do one thing or swallow this one magic pill, and you will be cured. I wished it was that way too. In fact, thinking that you will wake up free from NES is a little like thinking you will wake up with a sixpack without ever working out. It just is not how our body works. Unfortunately, the path to freedom from NES is more gradual. It is like walking up a winding mountain path – at times you are graduating steadily towards the summit, other times you are walking on flat or windy parts of the path. So it is with progression through the Stages of Recovery. Your progression may not always appear linear. What we are looking for is an (upward) trend towards the goal.
This is why I have developed what I call the Seven Stages of Recovery – a roadmap to tell you where you are now and where you want to be next. This breaks down the goal of waking up NES-free into signpost along the way which serves a twofold purpose: (1) it allows you to celebrate the smaller success of being one step closer to recovery, the act of which itself has the purpose of rewiring your brain to stop night eating, and (2) it helps you recognise that the strategies you are implementing are working, and that you are making progress, even though you may still be night eating at first.
Take Rebecca’s example, after a couple of private sessions with me she was still night eating. However, rather than feeling hopeless, we could identify that she had progressed from stage one to stage three. She no longer consumed as many calories at night as before, and she was now able to choose slightly healthier foods. Identifying this progression using the Stages of Recovery tool helped her feel encouraged by her progress and excited to continue on her journey toward freedom. Without the Stages of Recovery tool, this progress would likely have been missed and would have left Rebecca feeling like she did before – despondent and like nothing works!
Therefore, it is helpful to have an awareness about the Stages of Recovery so that you can measure your progress against these stages and celebrate your success. As you read this book, come back to these pages, and take stock of where you were today, versus where you are in a few weeks and months in your recovery journey.
THE SEVEN STAGES OF RECOVER
- Stage 1. You wake up every night once or multiple times to eat something. You feel a total loss of control and there is no element of choice in your actions. As soon as you wake up, you head straight into the kitchen and often only realize you are night eating again after you have already started. Your behavior is almost automatic and you cannot identify any thought pattern between waking up and eating food. You may be eating upwards of 1000 – 1,500 calories. You may also be eating most of your calories after dinner and before bedtime.
- Stage 2. You wake up and immediately think of eating. At this stage, there is an awareness and a choice around eating in the middle of the night. The action is not fully automatic, rather, you feel justified in making the choice to night eat because you reason that you need food to fall back asleep. There is a choice, but since the urge to eat feels so overwhelming, you cannot stop yourself from eating. So you eat to relieve the strong and uncomfortable urge. At this stage you are most likely still eating between 600 – 1,500 calories.
- Stage 3. You still wake up with an urge to eat and you still choose to eat every time you wake up, but you have some control over what you eat. You are able to go back to bed after eating fewer calories (around 200 – 600 calories) and choose to eat healthier foods – for instance, you chose a cheese over ice cream, or a piece of fruit over a packet of cookies.
- Stage 4. The urges are slightly less controlling so that you manage to choose to stay in bed some of the time and endure the urge to night eat. However, you are relying too much on your own will power and so other times you still get up and eat. The urge to eat is still very strong, and usually you manage no more than a 2 – 3-day stretch without night eating. At this stage, you’re still likely eating around 200 – 600 calories.
- Stage 5. Now the urges to night eat come only occasionally. You manage to stay in bed most of the week without having to exert willpower. But, on occasion, you still get stronger urges that you give into (usually 2 – 3 times per week). You are not overly consumed by thoughts about it the next day, and you are able to forgive yourself and move on despite the initial disappointment.
- Stage 6. The urges to eat at night are weak and more like fleeting thoughts rather than controlling urges. As a result, you have little desire to night eat. Occasionally, it still happens, and when it does, you move with your day and life without criticism.
- Stage 7. This is the final stage. You are now fully recovered. You have stopped having urges to night eat and, consequently, have no desire to do it. Occasionally, within the first year after recovery, the fleeting thought of night eating may still enter your mind, but it passes quickly and you are able to go back to sleep or stay in bed. Sometimes you may even wake up hungry at night but are able to go back to sleep without wanting to get up to eat.
Consider what stage of recovery from Night Eating Syndrome you are in… Remember to celebrate even the smallest successes, like moving from Stage 1 to Stage 2. Celebrating small successes also helps to rewire your brain.
If you’re finding yourself stuck in or between any of these stages, remember that there is help available. Why not schedule a free discovery call with me today.
Simply click the contact tab above and schedule a call with me.
Looking forward to hearing from you.